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A funny joke to aMeows you . . .

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad"s underwear when he"s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I"m lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats" food, before or after they eat it. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. I will not throw up in the car. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. "Kitty box crunchies" are not food. I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. I will not wake Mommy up with my cold, wet nose on her bottom. I will not chew my human"s toothbrush and not tell them. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it"s raining outside. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. I will not steal my Mom"s underwear and dance all over the back yard with it. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad"s laps. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. I will not bite the officer"s hand when he reaches in for Mom"s driver"s license and car registration.

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